TONIGHT, ITS JUST ME AND YOU! NO PICTURES, JUST ME AT THE END OF THE DAY WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE OUT AND THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO BE! I WOULDN'T CONSIDER MYSELF AS A VERY STRONG PERSON. IM VERY EMOTIONAL, I CRY AT THE DROP OF A HAT...HAPPY, SAD, JUST BECAUSE! I THOUGHT THAT BECOMING STRONG WOULD BE A HARD THING TO DO BUT I'M NOW SEEING THAT WHEN IT COMES TO MY CHILDREN, NOTHING WILL GET IN THE WAY OF ME BEING THERE AND GIVING THEM EVERYTHING THEY DESERVE. WHEN I SEE MY CHILDREN IN PAIN I WANT TO CRY TOO BUT I KNOW THAT CANT HAPPEN. THAT LIL INNOCENT CHILD NEEDS ME. THEY NEED TO SEE THEIR MOTHER BEING STRONG SO THEY KNOW WE CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING. YOU LEARN A LOT YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD BEING A MOTHER.You have to reach for a higher strength, you have to reach deep inside yourself, spend time with yourself to make some corrections that go beyond your own understanding and lean on a higher understanding! I JUST LOOK TO GOD AND THROUGH HIM I CAN BE STRONG!
LAST NIGHT JAYCIE WOKE UP AT MIDNIGHT SCREAMING. WHEN I WENT TO PICK HER UP SHE WAS ON FIRE! I ALMOST WENT INTO PANIC MODE BUT I TOLD MYSELF, GET IT TOGETHER BONNIE, YOU GOT TO HELP HER! I KNEW EVEN BEFORE I TOOK HER TEMPERATURE TO GET SOME TYLENOL IN HER. SO THAT'S WHAT I DID BUT IN THE MEAN TIME I HAD WOKE GENE UP TO GO GET THE TWO THERMOMETER'S OUT OF MY TRUCK. YEA, DON'T ASK ME WHY BOTH WHERE THERE BUT THEY WERE. WE TOOK HER TEMP AND OF COURSE THEY BOTH READ 104.0 ! NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS FREAKING OUT. GENE'S FIRST REACTION WAS GO GET SOME WET COLD WASH CLOTHS AND PUT ON HER, MINE WAS CALL MY MOM! SO, I CALLED MY MOM AND HE GOT WASH CLOTHS! I KNEW MY MOM WOULD BE THINKING RATIONALLY WHILE I WAS NOT SO MUCH. SHE TOLD ME TO CALL THE DOCTOR BUT IN THE MEAN TIME GET HER IN A ROOM TEMPERATURE BATH! SO WHILE I CALLED THE AFTER HOUR LINE AT THE CLINIC GENE PUT JAE IN A BATH AND ENTERTAINED HER. YES, SOME HOW SOME WAY HE GOT HER TO SMILE! SHE LOVES HER DADDY! THE NURSE ON CALL TOLD ME TO GIVE HER A LIL MORE TYLENOL AND IF HE FEVER WASN'T GOING DOWN IN 20-30 MINUTES TO GET HER TO BAPTIST EAST ER IMMEDIATELY! THAT WAS TOO HIGH OF A FEVER FOR A 5 MONTH OLD! AFTER 30 MINUTES WE CHECKED IT AND IT WAS DOWN TO 103 AND IN 45 MINUTES SHE WAS ASLEEP AND IT WAS DOWN TO 100 ! SHE SLEPT TIL AROUND 5:00 THIS MORNING AND WHEN SHE WOKE UP SHE WAS ON FIRE AGAIN. SURE ENOUGH, 104 AGAIN. WHAT SHOULD I DO? TAKE HER TO THE ER AND WAIT WITH ALL THOSE FLU PATIENTS AND MIGHT GET SEEN IN 4 TO 5 HOURS OR WAIT TILL MEMPHIS PEDIATRICS OPENS AT 7:30 AND TAKE HER THERE? I THEN CALLED MY MOM AGAIN OF COURSE AND SHE SAID GIVE HER TYLENOL AND JUST CALL THE CLINIC! SO I CALLED AT 7:30, OF COURSE IT WAS BUSY FOR 30 MINUTES BUT WHEN I FINALLY GOT THROUGH I GOT AN APPOINTMENT AT 10! THANK GOODNESS! THAT DOCTOR'S OFFICE IS SO WONDERFUL. I CALL THE DAY OF TO GET AN APPOINTMENT AND I CAN GET IN TO BE SEEN 30 MINUTES AFTER I CALL! THEY ARE AWESOME! BUT ANYWAY...SO ME AND MY MOM GO RUSHING TO MEMPHIS WITH MY BABY GIRL IN THE POURING DOWN RAIN AND GET THERE AND BEFORE WE EVEN WALK IN THERE IS THIS HUGE SIGN ON THE DOOR. IT READS "IF YOUR CHILD IS EXPERIENCING FEVER PLEASE ASK FOR A MASK AT THE FRONT DESK" SO I GO IN AND LOOK TO THE RIGHT TO THE SICK WAITING ROOM ( AT THAT CLINIC THERE IS A WELL WAITING ROOM AND A SICK WAITING ROOM WHICH IS AWESOME) AND 4 OUT OF 5 OF THE KIDS IN THERE HAVE ON MASK! A LIL SCARY IF I DO SAY THE LEAST! SO WE FINALLY GET BACK TO SEE THE DOCTOR (WHICH I LOVE DR. DELLENGAR) AND SHE CHECKS HER EARS AND LISTENS TO HER BREATHING AND CHECKS HER THROAT. NOTHING! CANT FIND ANYTHING WRONG WITH MY CHILD! AND THEN SHE SAYS ITS PROBABLY A URINARY TRACT INFECTION. SHE THEN ASK MY MOM IF I HAD A HISTORY OF THEM AND OF COURSE I DID! I USE TO HAVE THEM ALL THE TIME AS A CHILD, EVEN TO THE POINT OF ME BEING IN THE HOSPITAL 3 OR 4 TIMES AND HAVING TEST RUN! GUESS WHAT? ITS GOING TO RUN IN THE FAMILY. MORE THAN LIKELY SINCE I HAD THEM BAD, SHE WILL TOO! GREAT! SORRY JAYCIE! SO THEN THAT STARTS THE TORTURE FOR MY LIL GIRL! I ALMOST THINK IT WAS MORE TORTURE FOR ME THOUGH! TO HAVE TO WATCH THEM HOLD HER DOWN AND DO THAT CATHETER TEST TWICE ON HER JUST KILLED ME. I WANTED TO START CRYING BUT AT THAT VERY MOMENT I HAD TO PULL IT TOGETHER AND BE STRONG FOR THAT LIL GIRL. SHE NEEDED ME. I DON'T EVER REMEMBER MY MOM CRYING WHEN SHE WAS HOLDING MY HAND ALL THOSE TIMES ( EVEN THOUGH I'M SURE SHE WANTED TO). THE NURSE AT ONE POINT HAD TO ASK ME IF I WAS OK. THEN THEY HAD TO POKE HER FINGER FOR BLOOD, AND WHAT HAPPENS? JAYCIE WONT BLEED FOR THEM! THEY HAD TO WORK AND WORK TO GET ENOUGH BLOOD TO RUN A TEST. POOR BABY. AT THAT VERY MOMENT I KNEW THIS HAD TO HAVE BEEN THE WORSE DAY OF MY LIFE AS A MOTHER AND WATCHING MY CHILD IN PAIN AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO. THE DOCTOR COMES BACK IN AND SAYS HER WHITE BLOOD COUNT IS REALLY HIGH AND THE URINARY TEST LOOKS SUSPICIOUS BUT THEY HAVE TO SEND IT OFF. SHE TOLD ME THEY WERE TRYING TO KEEP HER OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. FOR ONE WE MIGHT NOT EVEN GET A BED THEY ARE SO FULL RIGHT NOW AND TWO SHE DIDN'T NEED TO BE IN THE HOSPITAL WITH ALL THOSE FLU PATIENTS! HOPEFULLY WE CAUGHT IT IN TIME AND SHE WILL GET OVER THIS QUICKLY! IN THE MEANTIME THEY HAD TO ONCE AGAIN HOLD HER DOWN TO GIVE HER A SHOT OF ANTIBIOTICS! NEEDLESS TO SAY SHE DIDN'T EVEN WANT THOSE NURSES EVEN OPENING THE DOOR TO THE ROOM AND SHE STARTED SCREAMING! IN THE END THE DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT MY LIL GIRL WOULD BE OKAY AND SHE WANTED TO SEE US FIRST THING IN THE MORNING TO CHECK ON HER AND GET THE TEST RESULTS! THANK YOU ALL THE STAFF AT MEMPHIS PEDIATRICS! THEY ARE ALL SO PROFESSIONAL, SO QUICK, AND SO LOVING! THEY UNDERSTAND AND HELP THE NOT SO GOOD EXPERIENCE IN TO A GOOD AS IT COULD BE IN THAT SITUATION! THANK YOU ALL FOR THE PRAYERS! GOD IS AMAZING! I LOOK TO HIM FOR EVERYTHING. HE GETS ME THROUGH ONE STEP AT A TIME! HE'S HELPING ME THROUGH THIS WHOLE BEING THE BEST MOTHER I CAN BE AND GIVING MY EVERYTHING THAT MY CHILDREN DESERVE! I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, ITS NOT THE EASIEST THING IVE EVER DONE! SOME DAYS I'M ASKING MYSELF WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING HAVING TWO KIDS SO CLOSE TOGETHER! BUT THEN I LOOK AT THOSE PRECIOUS FACES AND I REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS SO MUCH SWEETER AND BRIGHTER WITH THOSE TWO! MY CHILDREN BRING ME SO MUCH MORE HAPPINESS THAN I EVER THOUGHT I COULD EXPERIENCE IN ONE LIFE TIME! SO MY PRAYER IS TONIGHT..."THANK YOU LORD FOR HEALING MY CHILD AND FOR ALL THE COMFORT AND STRENGTH YOU GIVE ME AT THE TIMES I NEED IT MOST!"
LAST NIGHT JAYCIE WOKE UP AT MIDNIGHT SCREAMING. WHEN I WENT TO PICK HER UP SHE WAS ON FIRE! I ALMOST WENT INTO PANIC MODE BUT I TOLD MYSELF, GET IT TOGETHER BONNIE, YOU GOT TO HELP HER! I KNEW EVEN BEFORE I TOOK HER TEMPERATURE TO GET SOME TYLENOL IN HER. SO THAT'S WHAT I DID BUT IN THE MEAN TIME I HAD WOKE GENE UP TO GO GET THE TWO THERMOMETER'S OUT OF MY TRUCK. YEA, DON'T ASK ME WHY BOTH WHERE THERE BUT THEY WERE. WE TOOK HER TEMP AND OF COURSE THEY BOTH READ 104.0 ! NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS FREAKING OUT. GENE'S FIRST REACTION WAS GO GET SOME WET COLD WASH CLOTHS AND PUT ON HER, MINE WAS CALL MY MOM! SO, I CALLED MY MOM AND HE GOT WASH CLOTHS! I KNEW MY MOM WOULD BE THINKING RATIONALLY WHILE I WAS NOT SO MUCH. SHE TOLD ME TO CALL THE DOCTOR BUT IN THE MEAN TIME GET HER IN A ROOM TEMPERATURE BATH! SO WHILE I CALLED THE AFTER HOUR LINE AT THE CLINIC GENE PUT JAE IN A BATH AND ENTERTAINED HER. YES, SOME HOW SOME WAY HE GOT HER TO SMILE! SHE LOVES HER DADDY! THE NURSE ON CALL TOLD ME TO GIVE HER A LIL MORE TYLENOL AND IF HE FEVER WASN'T GOING DOWN IN 20-30 MINUTES TO GET HER TO BAPTIST EAST ER IMMEDIATELY! THAT WAS TOO HIGH OF A FEVER FOR A 5 MONTH OLD! AFTER 30 MINUTES WE CHECKED IT AND IT WAS DOWN TO 103 AND IN 45 MINUTES SHE WAS ASLEEP AND IT WAS DOWN TO 100 ! SHE SLEPT TIL AROUND 5:00 THIS MORNING AND WHEN SHE WOKE UP SHE WAS ON FIRE AGAIN. SURE ENOUGH, 104 AGAIN. WHAT SHOULD I DO? TAKE HER TO THE ER AND WAIT WITH ALL THOSE FLU PATIENTS AND MIGHT GET SEEN IN 4 TO 5 HOURS OR WAIT TILL MEMPHIS PEDIATRICS OPENS AT 7:30 AND TAKE HER THERE? I THEN CALLED MY MOM AGAIN OF COURSE AND SHE SAID GIVE HER TYLENOL AND JUST CALL THE CLINIC! SO I CALLED AT 7:30, OF COURSE IT WAS BUSY FOR 30 MINUTES BUT WHEN I FINALLY GOT THROUGH I GOT AN APPOINTMENT AT 10! THANK GOODNESS! THAT DOCTOR'S OFFICE IS SO WONDERFUL. I CALL THE DAY OF TO GET AN APPOINTMENT AND I CAN GET IN TO BE SEEN 30 MINUTES AFTER I CALL! THEY ARE AWESOME! BUT ANYWAY...SO ME AND MY MOM GO RUSHING TO MEMPHIS WITH MY BABY GIRL IN THE POURING DOWN RAIN AND GET THERE AND BEFORE WE EVEN WALK IN THERE IS THIS HUGE SIGN ON THE DOOR. IT READS "IF YOUR CHILD IS EXPERIENCING FEVER PLEASE ASK FOR A MASK AT THE FRONT DESK" SO I GO IN AND LOOK TO THE RIGHT TO THE SICK WAITING ROOM ( AT THAT CLINIC THERE IS A WELL WAITING ROOM AND A SICK WAITING ROOM WHICH IS AWESOME) AND 4 OUT OF 5 OF THE KIDS IN THERE HAVE ON MASK! A LIL SCARY IF I DO SAY THE LEAST! SO WE FINALLY GET BACK TO SEE THE DOCTOR (WHICH I LOVE DR. DELLENGAR) AND SHE CHECKS HER EARS AND LISTENS TO HER BREATHING AND CHECKS HER THROAT. NOTHING! CANT FIND ANYTHING WRONG WITH MY CHILD! AND THEN SHE SAYS ITS PROBABLY A URINARY TRACT INFECTION. SHE THEN ASK MY MOM IF I HAD A HISTORY OF THEM AND OF COURSE I DID! I USE TO HAVE THEM ALL THE TIME AS A CHILD, EVEN TO THE POINT OF ME BEING IN THE HOSPITAL 3 OR 4 TIMES AND HAVING TEST RUN! GUESS WHAT? ITS GOING TO RUN IN THE FAMILY. MORE THAN LIKELY SINCE I HAD THEM BAD, SHE WILL TOO! GREAT! SORRY JAYCIE! SO THEN THAT STARTS THE TORTURE FOR MY LIL GIRL! I ALMOST THINK IT WAS MORE TORTURE FOR ME THOUGH! TO HAVE TO WATCH THEM HOLD HER DOWN AND DO THAT CATHETER TEST TWICE ON HER JUST KILLED ME. I WANTED TO START CRYING BUT AT THAT VERY MOMENT I HAD TO PULL IT TOGETHER AND BE STRONG FOR THAT LIL GIRL. SHE NEEDED ME. I DON'T EVER REMEMBER MY MOM CRYING WHEN SHE WAS HOLDING MY HAND ALL THOSE TIMES ( EVEN THOUGH I'M SURE SHE WANTED TO). THE NURSE AT ONE POINT HAD TO ASK ME IF I WAS OK. THEN THEY HAD TO POKE HER FINGER FOR BLOOD, AND WHAT HAPPENS? JAYCIE WONT BLEED FOR THEM! THEY HAD TO WORK AND WORK TO GET ENOUGH BLOOD TO RUN A TEST. POOR BABY. AT THAT VERY MOMENT I KNEW THIS HAD TO HAVE BEEN THE WORSE DAY OF MY LIFE AS A MOTHER AND WATCHING MY CHILD IN PAIN AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO. THE DOCTOR COMES BACK IN AND SAYS HER WHITE BLOOD COUNT IS REALLY HIGH AND THE URINARY TEST LOOKS SUSPICIOUS BUT THEY HAVE TO SEND IT OFF. SHE TOLD ME THEY WERE TRYING TO KEEP HER OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. FOR ONE WE MIGHT NOT EVEN GET A BED THEY ARE SO FULL RIGHT NOW AND TWO SHE DIDN'T NEED TO BE IN THE HOSPITAL WITH ALL THOSE FLU PATIENTS! HOPEFULLY WE CAUGHT IT IN TIME AND SHE WILL GET OVER THIS QUICKLY! IN THE MEANTIME THEY HAD TO ONCE AGAIN HOLD HER DOWN TO GIVE HER A SHOT OF ANTIBIOTICS! NEEDLESS TO SAY SHE DIDN'T EVEN WANT THOSE NURSES EVEN OPENING THE DOOR TO THE ROOM AND SHE STARTED SCREAMING! IN THE END THE DOCTOR TOLD ME THAT MY LIL GIRL WOULD BE OKAY AND SHE WANTED TO SEE US FIRST THING IN THE MORNING TO CHECK ON HER AND GET THE TEST RESULTS! THANK YOU ALL THE STAFF AT MEMPHIS PEDIATRICS! THEY ARE ALL SO PROFESSIONAL, SO QUICK, AND SO LOVING! THEY UNDERSTAND AND HELP THE NOT SO GOOD EXPERIENCE IN TO A GOOD AS IT COULD BE IN THAT SITUATION! THANK YOU ALL FOR THE PRAYERS! GOD IS AMAZING! I LOOK TO HIM FOR EVERYTHING. HE GETS ME THROUGH ONE STEP AT A TIME! HE'S HELPING ME THROUGH THIS WHOLE BEING THE BEST MOTHER I CAN BE AND GIVING MY EVERYTHING THAT MY CHILDREN DESERVE! I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, ITS NOT THE EASIEST THING IVE EVER DONE! SOME DAYS I'M ASKING MYSELF WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING HAVING TWO KIDS SO CLOSE TOGETHER! BUT THEN I LOOK AT THOSE PRECIOUS FACES AND I REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS SO MUCH SWEETER AND BRIGHTER WITH THOSE TWO! MY CHILDREN BRING ME SO MUCH MORE HAPPINESS THAN I EVER THOUGHT I COULD EXPERIENCE IN ONE LIFE TIME! SO MY PRAYER IS TONIGHT..."THANK YOU LORD FOR HEALING MY CHILD AND FOR ALL THE COMFORT AND STRENGTH YOU GIVE ME AT THE TIMES I NEED IT MOST!"
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