Tuesday, August 25, 2009

YOUR THE BUTTER TO MY BREAD !

LAST NIGHT, GENE AND I LAID IN BED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED FOR LIKE AN HOUR! WE JUST SAID ONE FUNNY THING AFTER THE OTHER! WE FUELED EACH OTHERS FIRE. I TOLD GENE HE WAS THE BUTTER TO MY BREAD AND HE TOLD ME I WAS A SAINT! THAT'S WHAT STARTED IT ALL. THEN I ASKED HIM IF HE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING REALLY RANDOM AND THEN WONDERED HOW HE GOT THAT RANDOM THING IN HIS HEAD SO THEN DID HE GO BACK IN HIS MIND AND FIND WHERE HE CAME UP WITH THAT. APPARENTLY NO. THAT'S ONLY HOW MY CRAZY MIND WORKS! ANOTHER THING I SAID WAS..ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW YOU ARE ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING EVEN IF ITS NOTHING, EVEN IF ITS THE WORD NOTHING. WHY CANT I EVER REST MY MIND. UGH! I LOVE WHEN WE CAN JUST LAY IN BED AND LAUGH AT EACH OTHER. ITS SO FUN! LAUGHING IS THE BEST! NOT MANY PEOPLE GET TO SEE MY WITTY SIDE! GENE PROBABLY SEE'S IT MORE THAN ANYONE AND PROBABLY MORE THAN HE WANTS! TODAY CARTER WENT TO THE DRYER AND SAID "MONEY MONEY". I TOLD GENE OUR KID THINKS MONEY GROWS IN THE DRYER. SEE EVERY TIME WE OPEN THE DRYER THERE IS ALWAYS SOME KIND OF MONEY IN THERE EVEN IF ITS JUST A PENNY OR SOMETHING. WE ALWAYS GIVE IT TO CARTER TO PUT IN HIS BANK. CARTER IS GOING TO BE HEARTBROKEN WHEN HE FINDS OUT MONEY DOESN'T REALLY GROW IN THE DRYER! POOR KID! LOL !

GENE AND I TOOK THE KIDS TO THE ZOO THE OTHER DAY! LET ME TELL YOU, THE LORD COULDN'T HAVE BLESSED US WITH A PRETTIER DAY! IT WAS PERFECT WEATHER AND NOT MANY PEOPLE! WE HAD A BLAST WITH THE KIDS!
THIS WAS GENE'S LAST WEEK OFF WORK, AND LET ME TELL YOU HE ISN'T VERY HAPPY ABOUT GOING BACK TO WORK! HE'S ALL STRESSED OUT. HE MISSES BEING WITH THE CHILDREN WHEN HES AT WORK. HE DOESN'T LIKE MISSING OUT ON THINGS AND I CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT. BUT I ALWAYS TELL HIM TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE AND BE THANKFUL FOR THE DAYS HE DOES GET OFF TO SPEND WITH US. BE THANKFUL AND REMEMBER THOSE WONDERFUL MOMENTS WITH THE KIDS! THAT'S WHAT ALWAYS GETS BE THROUGH! GENE WORKS SO HARD FOR US! EVERYTHING WE HAVE IS THANKS TO HIM WORKING HIS BUTT OFF! HE IS DEFINITELY A MAN OF GOD THAT PUTS HIS FAMILY FIRST! THANK YOU LORD FOR SUCH A WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND DADDY TO MY CHILDREN!
GENE WON TICKETS OFF THE RADIO THE OTHER DAY FOR CARTER TO GO SEE ELMO LIVE AT THE DESOTO CIVIC CENTER NEXT WEEKEND. WE ARE SO EXCITED BECAUSE WE REALLY WANTED TO TAKE HIM BUT YET WE DIDN'T WANT TO PAY ALL THAT MONEY FOR THE TICKETS AND THEN CARTER NOT SIT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING OR SOMETHING. SO NOW THAT WE GOT THEM FREE, WE CAN GO ENJOY OURSELVES AND I'M THINKING CARTER WILL REALLY ENJOY IT!!! CANT WAIT!!!
THIS WEEKEND IS GOING TO BE A LITTLE LESS BUSIER THAN OUR LAST 4 OR 5 ! I THINK ALL WE REALLY HAVE IS TOMORROW, GETTING ALL THE FOOD AND THINGS READY FOR THE PARTY ON SUNDAY AND THEN SUNDAY OF COURSE, THE KIDS DEDICATION AND THEN THE PARTY AFTERWARDS! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT ALL! I KNOW THIS WILL DEFINITELY BE A VERY SPECIAL MOMENT THAT WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER.

Monday, August 24, 2009

IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE

IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE, HE'S GOING TO ASK FOR SOME MILK!
YES, AFTER DINNER TONIGHT WE MADE COOKIES. WE LET CARTER SIT AT THE TABLE WITH HIS OWN GLASS OF MILK AND DIP HIS COOKIES! HE HAD THE BEST TIME AND SO DID I! IT WAS SO FUN TO WATCH HIM DIPPING AND THEN EATING ONE AFTER THE OTHER! ANOTHER PRICELESS MOMENT !


AFTER DINNER AND COOKIES, WE WENT OUT FOR A LIL STROLL AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD! WE DIDN'T GET TO FAR WHEN WE SAW OUR WONDERFUL NEIGHBORS CHASE AND LIA, AND OF COURSE SWEET ADORABLE MACI, OUTSIDE. WE STOPPED AND CHATTED WITH THEM FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES! ITS SO SAD THAT WE LIVE SO CLOSE TO OUR FRIENDS AND NEVER HARDLY EVER GET TO SEE THEM OR SPEND TIME WITH THEM! THAT HAS GOT TO CHANGE! AFTER TALKING WITH THEM AND CHASING CARTER FROM ONE END OF THE STREET TO THE OTHER, WE FINALLY GOT BOTH KIDS BACK IN THE STROLLER AND MADE OUR MILE WALK! SO NICE AND SUCH A BEAUTIFUL COOL EVENING! AFTER OUR STROLL, WE WENT TO THE BACKYARD AND ATE POPSICLES AND PLAYED ON THE SWING SET FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES! WE HAD A BLAST LIKE ALWAYS. CARTER LOVES IT WHEN I GET UP THERE ON THAT SLIDE WITH HIM! WE HAVE A GOOD TIME!
WE ARE HOPING WHEN THE WEATHER COOLS DOWN, WE WILL BE ABLE TO HAVE A COOKOUT WITH CHASE AND LIA AND BRAD AND AIMEE! WE HAVE JUST GOT TO FIND A DAY WE ALL CAN DO IT!
GOD HAS BLESSED US IN SO MANY WAYS AND I THANK HIM EVERY DAY!
GOD IS GOOD!

THERAPY AND DEDICATION

TO YOU, THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT...TO ME, THIS IS THERAPY! THIS IS WHERE IS GET TO WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING THAT'S IN THIS FULL MIND OF MINE! I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MY HEAD FILLS UP WITH SO MUCH SO QUICK. SO THIS IS WERE I POUR IT ALL OUT EVEN THE PERSONAL STUFF, EVEN THE STUFF THAT'S BOTHERING ME, EVEN STUFF THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT UNTIL I START WRITING! I HOPE YOU DON'T JUDGE ME AND JUST KNOW I'M WRITING THIS SO MAYBE I'M HELPING SOMEONE ELSE OUT BY THEM SEEING THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO AND MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THINGS AS US! MY WHOLE MIND AND SOUL GO INTO THIS, SO ENJOY! THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH A MAN CAN TAKE IN A CERTAIN DAY SO THAT'S WHY I JUST WRITE IT ALL ON HERE AND NOT TELL GENE EVERYTHING. HE READS STUFF ON HERE BEFORE I TELL HIM. BUT THAT'S GOOD CUZ THEN IF HE'S NOT REALLY LISTENING TO ME, THEN HE CAN ALWAYS COME ON HERE AND REFRESH HIS MEMORY SO HE WILL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I TOLD HIM AN HOUR AGO! LOL ! GOOD ONE GENE!
MOST OF THESE PICTURES ARE FROM MAY WHEN WE WENT TO ST.LOUIS. SOME HOW THEY NEVER GOT PUT ON HERE AND I JUST FOUND THEM!
LAST NIGHT GENE AND I GOT TO GO ENJOY A MOVIE TOGETHER! THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME WE HAD BEEN TO THE MOVIES TOGETHER IN A VERY LONG TIME! WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS, YOU CANT JUST GET UP AND GO SOMEWHERE ANYMORE. YOU HAVE TO LIKE PLAN A MONTH AHEAD OF TIME TO JUST GET A TWO HOUR DATE NIGHT! THIS TIME EMILY AND ADAM CAME TO THE RESCUE. I KNEW THEY HAD BEEN WANTING TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH THE KIDS, SO I CALLED THEM UP AND ASKED IF THEY WOULD LIKE TO COME PLAY WITH THEM FOR A COUPLE HOURS SO WE COULD GO TO THE MOVIES! OF COURSE THEY CAME RIGHT ON OVER. GENE AND I PICKED A GREAT NIGHT TO DO THIS BECAUSE IT WAS ONLY $5 TO GET INTO THE MOVIES PLUS YOU GOT A FREE BOX OF POPCORN AND DRINK! AWESOME! GENE TOLD ME I WAS A CHEAP DATE! THANKS HUNNY! ANYWAY...WE WENT TO SEE "JULIE &JULIA"! GREAT MOVIE, HORRIBLE ENDING! WE WERE SO ENJOYING THE MOVIE AND THEN IT ENDED AND WE WERE LEFT IN THE DARK! UGH I HATE THAT! WE SHOULD HAVE JUST WENT TO SEE THE MOVIE THAT I HAD BEEN DYING TO SEE ANYWAY..."THE TIME TRAVELERS WIFE"
BUT REALLY IT WASN'T EVEN ABOUT WHAT MOVIE WE SAW, IT WAS ABOUT US GETTING TO ENJOY "US" TIME FOR A COUPLE HOURS. WE GOT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION IN THE TRUCK ON THE WAY THERE WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED BY MOMMY, DADDY, WHATS THAT?, AND THE SCREAMING! GENE OR I HAVE HAD OUR CHILDREN 98% OF THEIR LIVES. THEY AREN'T AWAY FROM US VERY MUCH SO WHEN WE DO GET TO GO OUT, ITS KIND OF NICE BUT YET WE ARE ALWAYS SO READY TO GET BACK TO THEM! ITS CRAZY HOW THAT HAPPENS! IF THEY AREN'T WITH US, WE ARE SOOO MISSIN THEM!!
LET ME TELL YOU HOW AUNT EM AND DA'S 2 HOURS WENT WITH THE KIDS.LOL ...I CALLED EMILY THE SECOND WE GOT OUT OF THE MOVIES AND ASKED HER HOW THE KIDS WERE. "CRAZY" SHE SAID! SHE SAID CARTER HAD MADE THEM WATCH ALL THREE OF HIS BABY EINSTEIN MOVIES AND THEY WERE ABOUT TO GO INSANE. THEY HAD THEIR FEEL FOR THEM AND NEVER WANTED TO SEE THOSE MOVIES EVER AGAIN! LOL! WELCOME TO OUR WORLD! THEY PROBABLY WONT EVER WANT TO BABYSIT AGAIN! BUT OTHER THAN THAT THEY HAD A GOOD TIME WITH THEM AND THE KIDS WERE GOOD! BOTH HAD THEIR P.J'S ON AND WERE READY FOR BED WHEN WE WALKED IN! THANKS AUNT EM AND DA ! WE LOVE Y'ALL!
SUNDAY WE ARE HAVING THE BABIES DEDICATED! WE ARE VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT! WE HAVE BEEN WAITING ALL SUMMER TO DO THIS. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY TIME GENE WAS OFF THEN OUR PREACHER WAS OUT OF TOWN OR SOMETHING ALWAYS CAME UP. BUT FINALLY WE GOT IT TOGETHER AND WE ARE DOING IT SUNDAY! I THINK MY WHOLE FAMILY FROM MISSOURI IS COMING PLUS ALL OF US HERE! I THINK THAT WILL MAKE 16 OR SO OF US! WE WILL SURE FILL THAT CHURCH UP! AFTER THE SERVICE, GENE AND I HAVE DECIDED TO HAVE A LIL PARTY AT OUR HOUSE! WE ARE HAVING A LUNCH AND CAKE FOR OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO COME HELP CELEBRATE THIS WONDERFUL EVENT WITH US! SO ANYONE THAT WANTS TO COME FOR GENE'S HOMEMADE SPAGHETTI AND CAKE SUNDAY JUST LET ME KNOW! WE CANT WAIT! WE ARE HAVING THE ASSOCIATE PASTOR TONY ELAM SING US A SONG FOR THE KIDS DEDICATION. I FOUND THIS SONG CALLED
"I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU". ITS PERFECT. HES GOING TO DO A GREAT JOB

Lord, I want to be just like You

'Cause he wants to be just like me
I want to be a holy example
For his innocent eyes to see
Help me be a living Bible, Lord
That my little boy can read
I want to be just like You
'Cause he wants to be like me!



Sunday, August 23, 2009

EMOTIONAL ROLLER-COASTER

I'M SITTING HERE ON THE COMPUTER WITH A PILE OF BOTTLES
IN MY FACE. I HAVE JUST COME TO REALIZED WHERE I FEED MY MY DAUGHTER THE MOST. I THINK THAT'S CALLED ADDICTION. LOL....SORRY JAYCIE!
AGAIN, THIS WEEKEND WAS VERY BUSY! FUNERAL, BABY SHOWER, CHURCH CONCERT, CHURCH, FAMILY AND FRIENDS! MY HOUSE SURE SHOWS THE LACK OF ATTENTION IT GOT TOO! OH WELL! THERE IS ALWAYS TOMORROW TO CLEAN RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD SAY GENE GOT THE BAD END OF THE DEAL THIS WEEKEND OR WHAT BUT HE GOT TO STAY HOME WITH THE KIDS MOST OF THE WEEKEND WHILE I WAS OFF AT ALL THESE EVENTS! I WOULDN'T
CALL SEEING MY HUSBANDS EX GIRLFRIEND AND A FUNERAL SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO SO I THINK I NEED TO RE-PHRASE THAT AND SAY HE GOT THE BETTER END OF THE DEAL! LAYING IN BED LAST NIGHT, GENE TURNS OVER AND SAYS TO ME " I HAVE A NEW FOUND RESPECT FOR YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU DO. I NOW UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM AND TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILDREN. " MELTED MY HEART! THAT'S ALL I NEED TO HEAR! A THANK YOU, I UNDERSTAND ONCE IN A WHILE.. THAT MAKES IT ALL WORTH WHILE AND MAKES ME KNOW I AM APPRECIATED EVEN THOUGH I AM "JUST A STAY AT HOME MOM". I THINK SOME PEOPLE THINK WE GOT IT MADE WHEN WE GET TO STAY AT HOME WITH OUR CHILDREN. YEA WE DO BECAUSE I GET TO SEE EVERY WAKING SECOND OF MY CHILDREN'S LIFE AND THAT MAKES ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON THIS EARTH BUT LET ME TELL YOU IT TAKES A LOT OF PATIENTS AND DEEP BREATHS! ITS A BIG PRIVILEGE AND HONOR TO GET TO STAY AT HOME WITH MY CHILDREN! I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD! YES, I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND WATCHING BABY EINSTEIN EVERYDAY BUT IF THAT PUTS A SMILE ON MY CHILD'S FACE THEN THAT MAKES IT ALL WORTH WHILE! I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR MY CHILDREN WITHOUT THINKING TWICE. THEY COME FIRST IN ALL WE DO AFTER THE LORD OF COURSE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! SOMETIMES WHEN WE ARE ON THE GO AND BUSY ALL THE TIME, I THINK I MIGHT BE HURTING MY CHILDREN DRAGGING THEM FROM HERE TO THERE BUT THEN I STOP AND THINK AGAIN AND THEN I REMEMBER WE ARE HELPING PEOPLE, WE ARE DOING THIS FOR OTHER PEOPLE, AND MOST OF ALL WE ARE DOING THIS FOR OUR GOD! THIS SHOWS MY CHILDREN AT A VERY YOUNG AGE THAT GOD AND OTHER PEOPLE COME FIRST AND WE HAVE TO HELP THEM! LIFE IS NOT ABOUT OURSELVES. IF WE AREN'T HELPING PEOPLE THEN WE MUST NOT LOVE THE LORD! THIS IS WHAT HE WANTS US TO DO OR HE WOULDN'T BRING THIS IN OUR LIFE!
THIS IS WHERE WE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE AND THIS IS WHAT WE ARE
SUPPOSE TO BE DOING. YES THERE ARE THOSE TIMES I JUST WANT TO LAY IN BED OR SKIP THAT BIRTHDAY PARTY, BUT NO THAT WOULDN'T BE FAIR TO THE PERSON ON THE OTHER END! I HOPE I'M TEACHING MY CHILDREN AT A VERY YOUNG AGE TO DO GOOD FOR OTHERS AND LIVE EACH DAY FOR THE LORD! PUT OTHERS FIRST EVEN WHEN ITS HARD BECAUSE ONE DAY WE ARE GOING TO BE ON THE OTHER END AND WE WILL NEED THOSE PEOPLE TO BE THERE FOR US!
OKAY SO MY WILD CHILD JUST GOT HOME AND HE'S LOOKING AT ME ( I HAVE MY GLASSES ON) WITH HIS HEAD TILTED SAYING "WHAT IS THAT, WHAT IS THAT?" NEEDLESS TO SAY, I DON'T WEAR MY GLASSES MUCH AND CARTER ALSO IS VERY INTO GLASSES RIGHT NOW ! GOOD NITE CARTER !

FRIDAY NIGHT I DECIDED I NEEDED SOME GOOD SLEEP SO I THOUGHT I WOULD TRY AND SEE HOW LONG CARTER WOULD SLEEP IN HIS OWN ROOM IN HIS OWN BED. SO I GAVE CARTER A BATH, PUT P.JS ON, GOT IN HIS BED, READ HIM HIS FAVORITE BOOK (LLAMA LLAMA RED PAJAMA'S ), SAID OUR PRAYERS, AND TOLD HIM HE WAS A BIG BOY AND HE WAS GOING TO SLEEP IN HIS BED TONIGHT! CARTER HAS GENE'S OLD BED IN HIS ROOM WHICH IS A FULL SO I LAYED DOWN WITH HIM LIKE ALWAYS AND HE FELL RIGHT TO SLEEP. EMMA ALWAYS SLEEPS WITH HIM EVEN FOR HIS NAPS AND WONT GET UP UNTIL CARTER DOES. GOOD IDEA MOM BECAUSE CARTER SLEPT IN HIS OWN BED IN HIS OWN ROOM FROM 8:30 TILL 3:30 IN THE MORNIN
G. OF COURSE LIKE ALWAYS I HEARD EMMA FIRST AND THEN SURE ENOUGH RIGHT BEHIND HER COMES CARTER. HE THROWS HIS BOBBLE UP ON THE BED AND THEN HE CLIMBS RIGHT ON UP, SNUGGLES IN BETWEEN GENE AND I AND GOES RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED! SO NOW IF I COULD GET CARTER AND JAYCIE TO SLEEP THE SAME 6 HOURS AT THE SAME TIME I MIGHT FEEL LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING AGAIN! LOL ! STILL WORKING ON THAT. ALTHOUGH JAYCIE DID SLEEP FROM 10:30 TILL 3:30 LAST NIGHT (IN HER BED IN OUR ROOM) WHICH WAS HER BEST NIGHT YET!

OKAY SO FRIDAY NIGHT I WENT TO MRS. PEGGY'S VIEWING ! SO GLAD I WENT ! I THINK ITS GOOD TO HAVE PEOPLE THERE WITH YOU WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE DIED! AS YOU KNOW I'M NOT A TALKER BUT TO JUST BE SITTING IN THAT ROOM WITH THE FAMILY AND OTHER PEOPLE FOR AN HOUR JUST BRINGS SOME KIND OF PEACE!
SATURDAY FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, WE HAD THE FUNERAL! BEAUTIFUL FUNERAL. I CAME HOME AFTER THE FUNERAL AND ASKED GENE IF IT WAS OKAY TO SAY A FUNERAL WAS BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE THAT ONE WAS! YES IT IS OKAY TO SAY THAT! THEY PLAYED RAISE ME UP BY JOSH GROBAN AND IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THE TEARS I JUST ALL OF A SUDDEN I
SMILED AND AT THAT VERY MOMENT I FELT PEACE IN MY HEART! I KNEW MRS. PEGGY WAS IN A WAY BETTER PLACE AND GOD WAS TAKING CARE OF HER NOW! PASTOR ADAM ALSO DID A VERY GOOD JOB DOING THE SERMON. IT WAS THE BEST FUNERAL SERMON IVE EVER HEARD I THINK. AWESOME JOB! I HOPE HE WILL BE ABLE TO PREACH MINE SOMEDAY! THANK YOU LORD, GOD ALMIGHTY!!
AFTER THE FUNERAL MOM AND I MET EMILY TO EAT LUNCH! THAT WAS WEIRD. US THREE WITH NO SCREAMING CHILDREN. WE WERE ABLE TO ENJOY A NICE QUIET LUNCH TOGETHER! VERY MUCH NEEDED!
AFTER LUNCH, EMILY MOM JAYCIE AND I WENT TO KELLY'S BABY SHOWER. VERY NICE SHOWER! SHES SO PRETTY. PREGNANCY LOOKS GOOD ON HER! I THINK WE ENDED UP STAYING OVER THERE FROM 2 TILL 4:15. WE HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME AND WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED IT FOR THE WORLD!
AFTER THAT WE CAME HOME AND I PUT BOTH KIDS DOWN FOR A NAP AND GENE AND I ENJOYED ABOUT 30 MINUTES OF QUIET TIME BEFORE GETTING READY FOR THE RIDING CLUB AND CHURCH CONCERT. GENE AND CARTER WENT TO THE RIDING CLUB WHILE JAYCIE AND I HEADED TO MOMS TO GET HER THEN WENT TO CHURCH FOR A MINI CONCERT. THE BARNETT'S CAME TO PLAY FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. THEY ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL CHRISTAIN FAMILY THAT SINGS AND PLAYS INSTRUMENTS SO WELL! THEY ARE AWESOME AND IF YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM I ENCOURAGE YOU TO TRY TO ONCE IN YOUR LIFE! SATURDAY WAS JUST A REALLY EMOTIONAL DAY FOR US AND HAVING THE BARNETT'S COME SING TO US JUST REALLY HIT HOME AND BROUGHT ALL THOSE EMOTIONS BACK INTO ONE! IT WAS CALMING AND JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO END THE DAY!

VERY BUSY BUT VERY LOVELY WEEKEND! GOD IS JUST SO GOOD ALL THE TIME! HE NEVER FAILS US! THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH IN EVERYTHING I DO! I WILL RISE WHEN HE CALLS MY NAME!

YOU RAISE ME UP SO I CAN STAND ON MOUNTAINS
YOU RAISE ME UP TO WALK ON STORMY SEAS
I AM STRONG WHEN I AM ON YOUR SHOULDERS
YOU RAISE ME UP TO MORE THAN I CAN BE

Friday, August 21, 2009

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

I WAS JUST TELLING GENE TONIGHT THAT I REALLY DIDN'T START WRITING THIS BLOG FOR ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT ME. I JUST HAVE SO MUCH IN MY MIND ALL THE TIME THAT THIS BLOG WAS THE ONLY WAY TO LET SOME OF IT OUT! NEEDLESS TO SAY, MORE PEOPLE THAN I EVER IMAGINED READS THIS! I'M VERY THANKFUL THAT PEOPLE LIKE TO READ WHAT I HAVE TO SAY! I THINK MY MOTHER IN LAW HAS THE WHOLE SURGERY UNIT AT THE HOSPITAL READING THIS! HALF MY CHURCH, MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND PROBABLY A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW READ THIS ALSO! BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU! MAYBE ONE DAY ILL WRITE A BOOK OR WRITE FOR THE NEWSPAPER LIKE MY HUSBAND WANTS ME TO DO!
IF YOUR WONDERING, THESE ARE SOME OLDER PICTURES I HAVE ON HERE TONIGHT. MOST ARE FROM BEFORE JAYCIE WAS BORN!
THIS HAS BEEN ONE DAY FOR THE RECORDS THAT I DID NOT TAKE ONE SINGLE PICTURE OF MY KIDS! AND NOW THAT I JUST REALIZED IT, I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF!

OKAY SO I JUST BOUGHT THESE BABY EINSTEIN DVDS FOR CARTER A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO AND OH MY GOSH HE LOVES THEM! HE NEVER EVEN WATCHED TV THE FIRST YEAR AND A HALF OF HIS LIFE AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN HE WILL SIT IN HIS ROCKING CHAIR AND WATCH A GOOD 10 TO 15 MINUTES OF THESE DVDS WITHOUT GETTING UP! ITS AMAZING BECAUSE I GET SOMEWHAT OF THE HOUSE STRAIGHTENED UP NOW! BUT THERE IS ANOTHER SIDE OF THIS TOO! BABY EINSTEIN STAYS ON OUR TV ALL DAY LONG! AND IF ITS NOT ON, CARTER COMES AND GETS ME AND PULLS ME BY THE HAND AND MAKES ME TURN IT BACK ON FOR HIM. AND THEN, GENE HAS BEEN HOME THE PAST 6 WEEKS SO GUESS WHAT IS ON OUR OTHER TV? YEP YOU GUESSED IT, ESPN ! I AM SO SICK OF BABY EINSTEIN AND SPORTS. SEE I'M A NEWS KIND OF GIRL! I LOVE TO WATCH THE NEWS AND KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS CRAZY WORLD BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH NEWS I GET TO WATCH NOW? ABOUT 5 MINUTES A DAY IF I'M LUCKY AT THAT! I THINK I'M GOING TO SCREAM IF I HAVE TO GO ANOTHER DAY WITH BASEBALL AND LIL ANIMALS RUNNING ACROSS THE TV ! SOMEONE HELP ME! LOL !
CARTER'S NEW WORD NOW IS "MEAN". LOL ! THE OTHER NIGHT HE SAID IT AND ITS SO CLEAR WHAT HE'S SAYING SO MOM ASKED HIM WHO WAS MEAN AND HE SAID PAW PAW! IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING! I'M SURE ITS NOT GOING TO BE FUNNY WHEN HE STARTS SAYING MEAN MOMMY AND DADDY LATER ON! I REALLY AND TRUELY DON'T HAVE A CHANCE ON KEEPING THAT BOY STRAIGHT BECAUSE EVERY TIME HE SAYS SOMETHING OR DOES SOMETHING THAT HE REALLY SHOULDN'T, HE ALWAYS HAS HIS AUNTS AND UNCLES AND GRAMS AND PAW PAW TO LAUGH AT HIM! IT IS FUNNY HOW HE SAYS STUFF AND COMES UP WITH THINGS MOST OF THE TIME BUT WOW, WHAT WILL I DO? LOL...OH AND TONIGHT JAYCIE STARTED HOLDING HER OWN BOTTLE. GENE HAD HER LAYING ON THE BED AND SHE TOOK THE BOTTLE OUT OF HIS HAND AND STARTED HOLDING IT HERSELF. PRETTY COOL! I HOPE SHE KEEPS IT UP, ALTHOUGH I DO LOVE TO HOLD HER BOTTLE FOR HER. I KNOW SOON ENOUGH SHE WONT NEED ME TO ANYMORE SO I BETTER ENJOY IT AS LONG AS SHE WILL LET ME. I WAS JUST THINKING LAST NIGHT HOW MUCH I NEED TO ENJOY THESE NEXT FEW YEARS WITH MY KIDS. SEE WHEN GENE AND I AND THE KIDS ARE GONE TOGETHER SOMEWHERE IN MY TRUCK I'M USUALLY SITTING IN THE BACK WITH MY KIDS. I'M IN THE MIDDLE AND CARTER IS ON ONE SIDE AND JAYCIE ON THE OTHER. CARTER HAS STARTED WANTING ME TO HOLD HIS HAND NOW SO USUALLY ONE OF MY HANDS ARE HOLDING HIS HAND AND THE OTHER OF MY HANDS ARE HOLDING JAYCIE'S BOTTLE FOR HER! I JUST SIT BACK AND ENJOY IT ALL! I LOVE MY PRECIOUS KIDS AND I EAT UP EVERY SECOND I CAN WITH THEM! THEY GROW TOO FAST! I JUST PRAY TO GOD THAT HE KEEPS MY CHILDREN HEALTHY HAPPY AND SAFE EVERYDAY AND I HOPE ONE DAY THEY WILL COME TO KNOW THE LORD THEMSELVES!
OKAY SO I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU THIS ONLY FOR A TESTIMONY OF HOW THE LORD WORKS IN WAYS WE CANNOT SEE ! GENE AND I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON GETTING OUR HOUSE REFINANCED FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS. ITS BEEN A MESS AND A HUGE HEADACHE. THEY HAVE BEEN GIVING US THE RUN AROUND AND EVERYTHING ELSE. WELL ALONG WITH THIS, GENE HAS BEEN OFF WORK FOR A WHILE TOO SO NEEDLESS TO SAY WE HAVE BEEN STRESSIN A LIL. I TRY TO KEEP MY FAITH ON THE LORD AND KNOW SOME HOW SOME WAY HE WOULD GET US THROUGH. WELL TODAY JUST WHEN I THINK WE ARE ABOUT TO GO UNDER, GENE CALLS AND TELLS ME WE ARE CLOSING ON THE REFINANCED LOAN NEXT WEEK AND OUR CLOSING COST WENT FROM $1600 TO $50! I WAS IN FRECKLED FROG WITH MY MOM AND I HAD TO WALK AWAY FOR A MINUTE. I STARTED CRYING. I COULDN'T SPEAK. GENE TOLD ME "I TOLD YOU WE WOULD MAKE IT, ITS ALL THAT PRAYING YOU DO"
TH
ATS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR! GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS JUST IN TIME! NEVER DOUBT THE LORD! GOD WILL ALWAYS MAKE A WAY! AND HE ALWAYS HAS A PLAN BIGGER THAN THE ONE WE HAVE PLANNED! I LOVE MY LORD AND I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I HAVE COME TO KNOW HIM SO MUCH DEEPER AND STRONGER IN THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTH! ITS MY JOY TO HONOR AND WORSHIP HIM! EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!
SO NOW THAT I KNOW THAT PEOPLE READ THIS, I'M HOPING TO INSPIRE SOMEONE ALONG THE WAY! MY GOAL IS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONES LIFE EVERYDAY! EVEN IF ITS JUST A SMILE ON MY FACE OR A KIND WORD, THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY! SO I GUESS TO SUM THIS ALL UP...TRUST AND LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, WITH ALL YOUR SOUL AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH!
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY !

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! THIS IS WEIRD,
I'M DOING THIS BLOG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON. JAYCIE IS SITTING IN MY LAP AND CARTER IS AT MY MOMS! HE DECIDED HE WANTED TO GO HOME
WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS OVER HERE, SO OF COURSE HE GOT TO GO.WHO COULD SAY NO TO THAT FACE?

ONE OF OUR VERY LOVED CHURCH MEMBERS MRS.PEGGY, DIED A FEW DAYS AGO, AND ITS REALLY BEEN HARD ON ALL OF US! SHE WAS ONE OF THOSE TRUE CHRISTIAN LADIES THAT NEVER SAID ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ANYONE! SHE WAS LOVED BY SO MANY! KNOWING I HAVE TO GO TO THE FUNERAL IN A FEW DAYS HAS REALLY GOT ME TO THINKING ABOUT WHAT WOULD THEY SAY AT MY FUNERAL? HOW WOULD I BE REMEMBERED? GOOD MOTHER, GOOD WIFE? GOOD SISTER, GOOD DAUGHTER ? I'M HOPING ALL THOSE THINGS WOULD BE SAID BUT WHO WOULD KNOW. I DON'T THINK MANY PEOPLE GET TO KNOW ME TRUELY! MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING BUT I THINK IT ALSO KEEPS PEOPLE FROM KNOWING MY TRUE FEELINGS AND FAITH! SOMEONE TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY THAT I WAS SO MUCH MORE BOLD AND OPEN ON THE COMPUTER AND ON MY BLOG THAN IN PERSON! YES, THAT'S VERY TRUE! MY TRUE FEELINGS COME OUT IN MY WRITING!

SO IF I DON'T OPEN UP TO YOU IN PERSON, PLEASE KNOW I DO HAVE GOOD AND TRUE INTENTIONS, I'M JUST SO SHY AND I CANT EVER EXPRESS MYSELF BUT THROUGH WRITING! SO MAYBE THAT'S WHY I DO THIS BLOG, SO MAYBE AT MY FUNERAL IT WILL BE READ AND THAT'S HOW PEOPLE WOULD REMEMBER ME ! AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, PEOPLE DYING REALLY GETS TO ME! I HAVE A REALLY HARD TIME WITH IT! I KNOW, WHO DOESN'T, BUT IT GOES ON TO ANOTHER LEVEL WITH ME. EVEN IF I DIDN'T KNOW THE PERSON ALL THAT WELL, ITS CRAZY! I WENT TO VISIT MRS. PEGGY'S DAUGHTER MELISSA TODAY, AND I TRYED TO HOLD IT TOGETHER BUT I COULDN'T! I KNOW, I KNOW I NEED TO BE STRONG AND HOLD IT TOGETHER FOR HER BUT WHEN SHE STARTED TALKING ABOUT THE RAINBOW AFTER SHE PASSED AWAY, TEARS STARTED STREAMING ! IT WAS SUCH A HAPPY MOMENT BUT YET SAD! EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY BUT IT STILL HURTS! I'M JUST GLAD I'M A PART OF A SMALL AND WONDERFUL CHURCH WHERE WE ARE ALL SO CLOSE AND THERE FOR EACH OTHER! WHEN SOMEONE IS GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME, WE ALL ARE !I'M SO THANKFUL THAT GOD LEAD ME BACK TO THAT CHURCH! I'M SO BLESSED TO HAVE THEM ALL AS MY FRIENDS! SO I JUST THANK GOD FOR ALL
THESE BE
AUTIFUL MOMENTS I GET TO HAVE WITH THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE! I REALIZE, IN JUST A BLINK OF AN EYE, IT COULD ALL BE GONE!











THIS WAS CARTER TODAY GETTING A HAIR CUT! MY BLOG WAS GOING TO BE ON CARTER AND JAYCIE BUT WHEN I STARTED WRITING MY HEART JUST WENT THE OTHER WAY!

Carter's new words this week are glasses and "what is that?" he's starting to get two and three words together! Jaycie is starting to eat a lil more from a spoon! Shes so happy all the time and laughing, smiling, and talking so much! She loves her blanky ! We dont go anywhere without it! Its always in her hands and mouth ! Gene got released back to work today so he will start next friday on nights! yuck! We have really enjoyed our daddy being home these past 6 weeks! My faith in God has really grown a lot stronger these past few months! Ive given it all to the Lord and he has gotten us through. We are so much stronger as a family ! See, everything happens for a reason. God knew Gene and I needed some time together! God knows what he's doing! We should never doubt that!